Although relationships are an integral part of our lives, they can be difficult to manage. Most popular relationship advice states that communication is key to successful relationships. It also requires being open about your feelings, affectionate, grateful, and being honest. These items, however, are not relevant to the main point. These items are great for maintaining a strong relationship, but they are only subsets or derivatives of a greater relationship requirement: that each member of the relationship lives their individual lives to the fullest extent.
Your life is a reflection of how you live it. If we don’t live our lives to the fullest, how can we be true to ourselves and build a wonderful, successful relationship? It is impossible. It is directly proportional to how much effort each person puts into a relationship.
You can’t live up to your full potential if you don’t give yourself the best you can. There are many benefits to having a relationship. Money, house, cars, sharing experiences (e.g. Travel, new activities, and happiness through emotional connection. All of this takes a coordinated effort, as sometimes decisions made by a functioning couple might be contrary to one of the individual’s desires. This is what relationship experts refer to as making a sacrifice.
Sacrifices in a relationship are essential. A relationship requires that one considers the needs and thoughts and preferences of the other person and sometimes put those above their own. This means that there will be times when one must sacrifice their own needs to improve/help the relationship.
However, the catch is that a person who doesn’t live their life fully will be less inclined to sacrifice. Someone who feels they are missing out, that they are not living up to their potential, or that their life is being wasted, will not be willing to make sacrifices. Only when you feel content being alone can you be selfless and fully dedicate yourself to another person.
This level of commitment is what will make a relationship last. Even if we could spend every moment with our partner, we won’t be able to fully immerse ourselves in the relationship frame. Although our brains are wired to think like individuals, it takes conscious effort to move into the relationship frame. However, it was still our individual mind that activated the switch.
The attitude that we adopt to life as an individual determines how everything around us. Our entire existence is shaped by how we live, think and act as individuals. Every second of our lives is lived as individuals. Therefore, how we treat ourselves as individuals will determine the quality of our lives. It is impossible to expect more from your life if you don’t respect yourself or are not honest with yourself. This applies to our family, work and relationships.
You can’t fully contribute to a relationship if you don’t live your life to its full potential. The majority of health relationships work with roughly a 50/50 split of the contribution between the people involved. Let’s take an example relationship where two people are in a good place. They both have respectable careers, have high incomes, have close friends, have children and seem happy with their lives.
Although it may seem simple, this example was actually designed to be. It is so simple. It is actually quite simple! If everyone is only trying to reach 50% of their potential, then their relationships will be just as good (or worse) than they are.
You should already know the answer, but I will explain it just in case. You are sabotaging yourself and your relationships by not living up to your potential, not following your dreams and being honest with yourself. This is what you should be doing if you feel this way. Find your passions in life and be open about them. Try new things and don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t settle for less than the best. Don’t accept the common and close-knit, set higher standards and look for opportunities to reach loftier heights.