Do you tell your friends how your spouse treats your? Or do you ask them for advice about why they treat you so badly? While every couple will have disagreements and say hurtful things from time to time, this shouldn’t be the basis of your relationship. Your spouse should encourage you to feel good about yourself. Your spouse should be there for you and show respect.

Each relationship is different. Each couple will have their ups and downs. It’s normal. Sometimes healthy couples may lose trust with one another and need to rebuild their relationship. These should not be common events. Are you more afraid to be in a relationship with your best friend than you do when you are on a frightening roller coaster? Are you feeling trapped in a relationship with constant arguing? Or does your spouse freeze you out more often than you would like? You may be dating a mean person. You are giving your energy, time, and heart to someone else. Your concerns are theirs. Always keep their best interests in mind. These are the behaviors of a couple who is in love.

It’s okay to share gossip with your partner from time to time, but if your spouse is always talking trash about their closest friends, this should be a red flag. What is your spouse’s habit of spreading harmful gossip? Are they happy to see their friends suffer? Are they concerned about their appearance? Do they go to great lengths to make others look bad? Negative comments about another person is often a sign that you are insecure. However, it is a sign that you are a jerk if you start to put down others.

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People who are mean have little empathy for others. They don’t have the ability to empathize with others on an emotional level. They don’t want their mind to be expanded. They are rigidly committed to their views and don’t care about others. An unfaithful spouse might not feel guilty about wrongdoings. They might be unfaithful or openly lie to you. They might even use you to get sex, money or other opportunities.

For happy, long-lasting relationships to thrive, communication is key. Communication is how couples can solve problems, communicate more deeply and form a romantic relationship. An unkind person won’t apologize and will not listen to your point of view. They are more likely to use arguments to make excuses for themselves rather than to solve the problem. If your partner is unwilling to communicate with you, it’s a sign you’re dating a mean person.