The internet has changed the way we date. Online dating has become the norm. It offers many benefits including ease, convenience, greater variety, and efficiency. The only thing that isn’t changing (or worse) is the vulnerability and uncertainty that comes along with being out there.
Technology makes it easier for people to find each other, but I think it has increased the uncertainty. Uncertainty can lead to anxiety and worry. As an OCD and anxiety therapist, I have a variety of techniques that can help people deal with excessive worry. You don’t need to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to notice your anxiety rise when you are dating. These methods can help.
Online dating can feel a lot like exposure therapy. This is therapy-speak for doing something that you have been avoiding due to anxiety. Exposure therapy can be very effective. It is a powerful tool that I use in my therapy practice to help people confront their fears and avoid any pitfalls. Exposure therapy is a complex topic that I could go on about for pages, but I will limit my discussion to how exposure therapy can help people learn to deal with difficult, unpleasant, uncertain or uncomfortable situations in a systematic way.
Research shows that online dating success hinges on a strong connection and chemistry. This is not a sign of long-lasting relationships. Social media and texting have made communication easier. Many generations of daters might not know what it is like to pick up the telephone to talk to someone or express their desire to move in a different direction.
Remember why you are doing this online dating thing. Remember that it’s important for you to be able to connect, have relationships and share intimacy with others. It’s so hard. If we focus too hard on the end result, we can become fixated on how it will happen. You are more likely to be disappointed. This is crucial. When you project into the future, it is important to be mindful of the present. If you look at someone’s first pictures and imagine how your friends or children will like them, then you are not in the present. Rewind.
You can identify the behaviors that are making you anxious and change them. You might be constantly checking your text messages or talking about the date with friends. If you feel the urge to do these things, you can try this tip for dating online. And remember, you are stronger than they are if you don’t engage. A new way to date is a different outlook. It is difficult to learn anything new, so it takes repetition and consistency.
It will be easier to face your fears about the future’s uncertain future. It’s impossible to predict if someone will like you, or even if they will call. You might have a wonderful time and they don’t call. This is quite common. Sometimes you might be deceived, lied to, but many times your fears will come true. What’s the point? Keep your eyes on the future and not on the past. These internet dating tips will help you avoid getting lost in the sea of online dating anxiety.